


Bad Days

by Anonymous



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Lucas is a sweetheart and deserves the world, Soft Boys, Wong Yuk Hei Centric, and should always be happy, lucas centric
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2019-03-12
Packaged: 2019-09-23 23:56:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17090165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Lucas knows he's annoying.OrHow the rest of NCT realize just how much Lucas takes to heart, whether he shows it or not.





	1. Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucas knows he's annoying

 

Lucas knows he's annoying.  

* * *

He's known it for years, for ages, ever since he was little, from the time he was six years old and Xiao Chen (the most popular boy in first grade) said Lucas wasn't invited to his party because he was too loud and irritating.

Everyone agreed with Xiao Chen, because he was the coolest and smartest (unlike Lucas), and had all the new toys. 

Lucas was the only one in his class not invited. And after that, the whispers that happened every time he spoke, the ones he pretended to not hear, about his voice and lanky body and how he can’t even speak mandarin properly, never mind that his first language is Cantonese, got louder.

Back then he didn't have the vocabulary to express how he felt. Lucas knew it hurt, that the part of him he's been most proud of, the part of him that his mama and baba loved, said made their tiring day after work that much better, caused other people to dislike him. 

He just wanted to make people happy, like his parents and daidai and doggy made him. But maybe other people aren’t like that, and maybe he _is_ too annoying when he speaks.

So Lucas tried to stop. Xiao Chen's party was in a week, so maybe if he could be quiet and nice and not a brat he'd be invited? He stopped participating in lessons, only answered when spoken to, and tried not to be so loud and overbearing.

It didn't work, and served to make his parents worried, his teachers concerned, and his classmates to start being mean to his face instead of behind his back. 

Next Friday came, and Xiao Chen walked up to Lucas, saying that he was better quiet and less clingy. Then when Lucas perked up, Chen laughed at his face, saying that he would invite Lucas to his birthday party now, but no one liked him so why should he. 

Lucas held in his tears until he got home. But when his mama asked why he was so quiet, he broke. 

* * *

_"Mama", he sobbed out,"why don't they like me?"_

_His mother’s shushes didn't work, her gentle petting only causing her son's sobs to get louder._

_"I tried to be friends but they all make fun of me. I'm sorry I'm too loud, I'm sorry I'm too annoying, I’m sorry I can’t speak well, I just want to make people happy," he cried._

_All his mother could do was hold him._

* * *

Parents were called, students got detention, eventually, when his mama and baba saw him come home after yet another day of school, sad smile appearing when he saw her after giving his daidai a kiss on the head, because even if people aren't actively mean, Lucas still doesn't have friends, his parents decided to switch schools, ignoring the strain on their bank account. 

It got better. Lucas finally got some friends. Real friends, who were fine with his clingyness and happy nature. In fact, they loved it, always willing to cling back and never faulting him for being happy even on their bad days. 

At first he'd been wary, because it didn't seem real that people  _liked_  him. Why would they, when everyone hadn't before. But over time, he realized that maybe his former classmates weren’t the nicest. Maybe they were going through their own things and took it out on him. Or maybe they were just too scared to go against Xiao Chen.

Either way, Lucas learns to be himself. Learns to love himself the way he is, others be damned. And his friends help, always by his side and ready to fight anyone who hurts him. He’s not the most popular at school, but everybody knows him and likes him at least a little, and over time Lucas grows confident enough in himself that he can pull off acting even more so.

When he passes the auditions for SME in 2015, his friends are simultaneously overjoyed that he passed and he’s that one step closer to his dream, and worried and sad, because now Lucas has to go to an entire different country with a new language and new people and new places.

So they pack him off with a bunch of hugs and kisses and numbers entered onto his new phone, with promises to call and be safe and be himself, and be _wonderful_. And so Lucas goes. To SM, to NCT, to all his new friends and brothers and members, with his confidence and charisma and an abysmal hold of Korean, and somehow, manages to make his dream begin to come true.

Still, that memory remains prominent years later, even after his debut, and even though Lucas says he’s over it and won’t claim to remember anything if asked, he isn’t really. It’s always there, at the back of his mind.

* * *

So yeah, Lucas knows he’s annoying

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Constructive Comments are appreciated  
> I have a lot more to add on but this is just the beginning :D  
> I got this idea on a flight because Lucas is always the moodmaker and a Happy Boy, and from experience, sometimes people like that don't feel as if they can have bad days, or who to ask for help/comfort.  
> Along with that I feel like a lot of times, people are dismissive of Lucas because of how he speaks and his happy nature but like??? he speaks four languages??? and the ones he uses with NCT and everyone else aren't native to him???? and he's always caring and sweet??? and he can rap and dance???/  
> Anyways yeah so basically he is going to get All the love in this, after maybe a Tiny bit of angst.


	2. The Hyungs Pt 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First, Yukhei notices it from the hyungs.

First, Yukhei notices it from the hyungs.

It starts of very small, little comments here and there, slight sighs of exasperation in the mornings when Yukhei is awake and trying to raise everyone’s mood, curt answers to his questions and then being ignored afterwards.

He’s used to it though, this kind of treatment, so he doesn’t pay it much mind. Everyone sooner or later gets tired of him, but there’s usually at least one person who’s okay with him being clingy that he can go bother. Yukhei knows he’s annoying, and that if he exerts all his energy into one person they’ll get irritated and stop talking to him. The same thing happened when he was younger, and he doesn’t a want a repeat of those few, lonely years where he had no friends except his daidai, who doesn’t really count. So, he’s tried to not tick off everyone when he joined NCT.

It’s worked for the most part.

They’re coming back from a schedule when he notices just how bothersome he really is.

* * *

It’s just after NCT U’s show in Manila. They’ve all crowded into one of the spare rooms in the hotel they’re staying at, everyone sweating and exhausted, with passion thrumming in their veins because  _it was just their show and they absolutely nailed it._  Yukhei caught the Taeil-hyung and Yuta-hyung exchanging exhausted smiles before their performance, still happy to perform despite their packed schedules, because it never gets old. The elation felt on stage, the lights, the sounds, the air that hits their faces, the screams from NCTzen’s. When Yukhei performs as part of U’s choreography he feels as if he’s part of something much larger than himself. It’s always worth everything he’s given to get here.

Right now, he’s latched onto Taeyong, his lanky and mildly sweaty body hanging off his hyung while Yukhei chatters happily into his ear. Both his arms are wrapped around the older boy, slightly resting on him, but Yukhei handles most of his body weight himself. 

It's not something that Yukhei advertises a lot, at least not on purpose, but he likes skinship. Maybe not all the time, or every day, or a lot of it, but Yukhei likes having people to hold onto.  

He's liked it since he was a child. His mama and baba always showered him with affection, and when his daidai came along Yukhei learnt to do the same. Even now, when they're mostly grown up, he and his little brother are still close.

But most of the time he keeps his need for affection to himself. It’s not that it’s frowned upon, or that his members wouldn’t like it. Skinship is common with his group. The casual arm wrapped around someone, a hand on a thigh, a hug when someone’s down, or acting cute, or just there to be a victim, becoming an octopus in the mornings when everyone’s tired and sleepy. They play it up for the fans, but it’s hard to exaggerate something if there isn’t anything to exaggerate, and Yukhei  _knows_  that his members love contact and hugging, even if some of them won’t admit it.

Yukhei keeps his preferences to himself though. But it’s not like he’s purposely being secretive. He still roughhouses and cuddles, still jokes around with his members, tries to make people smile or laugh, because if they’re happy then he’s at least doing his job.

He just never asks for skinship, or initiates it first. He’s fine with acting in front of the camera (he’s realized, in the past few years, that he’s quite good at it), he can always whine for attention or be extra loud. But he tends to keep his neediness to himself.

It used to bother people that he liked being clingy, it got him into trouble when he was small and even though his friends from his new school loved contact and hugging him and being pressed close together, he's never advertised that he likes affection to anyone. If people spend enough time with him then he grows comfortable enough to start showing it, and they can pick up on the (admittedly large) subtle cues that he gives off.

Yukhei thinks his height might also play a part in helping him hide it. He’s always been lanky, causing people to think he’s fine without contact. Because apparently, no one that tall likes to cling to someone (they’re so wrong, I mean just  _look_  at Johnny-hyung), and it's hard to squeeze all 180+cm of him to cuddle with someone.

But Yukhei loves to curl up or wrap himself around someone, or have a place of contact. Mark knows, and he thinks Kun-ge is somewhat aware, but the other members don't know since he's never told them.   
  
Either way, Yukhei likes skinship, and contact, and when he's excited or happy like he is now, breath still coming hard and fast after the performance, his need for contact grows. So Yukhei's latched onto the nearest person to him, body wrapped around Taeyong-hyung while he talks into his ear.   
  
He's not sure that hyung is fully listening, but he nods and 'hmm's when needed, flushing when Yukhei starts speaking about his solo stage, and in truth Yukhei only needs someone to talk to so he can get rid of all his energy. He can tell that Taeyong is tired, all of them are after the show they’ve had, so he doesn’t want to put too much pressure (both literal and figurative) on the leader.

But contact helps  _him_  feel better, and hopefully he can cheer Taeyong-hyung up in the process.

He’d noticed that Taeyong-hyung had been feeling down for the past few days. It may seem likes he’s unobservant, but years of having no friends, and then the past two years of not knowing Korean well enough to understand everything, made Yukhei good at people watching.

The managers had scolded the older boy earlier in the week, after he made a mistake in the practice run of their show. Hyung has nailed the real thing after several hours of practice outside of the practice runs, but after having lived with Taeyong-hyung Yukhei knows he’s been beating himself up about it long after the event occurred.

Another thing Yukhei learnt through excessive people watching is how they act. Which is why he knows that his hyung is an absolute sucker for compliments, blushing red and turning shy if someone praises him (a sharp 180 from his stage persona). Praises never fail to get Taeyong’s mood up, so Yukhei plans to compliment Taeyong until he either dies of embarrassment or starts to feel better.

* * *

He's nearly done exclaiming about Taeyong's solo (and about to get onto his stages with the rest of NCT), with Taeyong-hyung seeming a bit more happy and attentive, when Yuta interrupts him, voice harsh.

"Can you please stop bothering us for a second Lucas? We get that you're excited but the rest of us are tired and need rest.”

Yukhei freezes. It's not like Yuta-hyung (sweet, cuddly Yuta-hyung) to be so mad. It's not like Yuta to talk like that to him either, so he probably means it. A sinking feeling fills Yukhei’s chest when he realises that Taeyong-hyung was probably getting tired of him by now.

At the back of his mind he knows that Yuta-hyung’s been tired for the last few weeks, with 127’s promotions on top of U’s, and that his hyung always gets short-tempered when he’s exhausted, but the larger part of Yukhei’s brain is already telling him that he’s being annoying,  _again_ , and eventually people won’t put up with him.

“Oh,” he says quietly. 

It’s best to stop it from happening now rather than deal with the fallout, which is so, so bad, and Yukhei’s chest starts tighten because  _he’s been so annoying why can’t he just notice it for once_.

He pulls back a little.

Yukhei looks down at Taeyong, pulling a sheepish expression onto his face to hide the anxiety that’s quickly bubbling up inside him, and replies, a bit quieter than usual.

“Sorry hyung, I’ll stop-“

But Yuta isn't done, continuing on and looking even more irritated. 

“Can you also get off him? You do realize you're heavy, right? Taeyongie is already tired from the show tonight, he doesn't need you tiring him out more.”

Yukhei quickly steps away from Taeyong, because  _Yuta’s annoyed now_ and _this is all his fault_.

Why couldn’t Yukhei have just kept his hands to himself?

“Yuta....” Doyoung warns (At least it sounds like a warning?) from the side.

That only ticks off his hyung even more.

“What? It's not like I’m lying. Why are you so hyper anyway, aren't you supposed to be tired, Lucas? And why do you even hold onto everyone? Don't you know that you bother us when you do that, on top of everything else?” Yuta spits out.

Doyoung says a reply, voice tense, but Yukhei’s stopped listening by then.

He hadn’t realized he’s been  _that_ annoying. Usually it’s not hard to realize when some people are tired of him, but Taeyong hyung- who’s sometimes a blank slate- is difficult to read. Most of the other members he can tell. Johnny hyung starts cutting his replies short, Winwin-ge sighs a lot, Ten-hyung and Doyoung-hyung- don’t become cruel- but their tone changes enough that he can tell he isn’t wanted. The younger members don’t say anything, but he sees them give each other looks, and eventually they forget to slow down their Korean, too excited in whatever they’re talking about to remember.

But Taeyong-hyung  _seemed_  fine. Yukhei didn’t think he was bothering him too much. Usually hyung tenses, too kind to outright tell anyone that he’s tried, and he looked okay with Yukhei clinging to him earlier. But it seems like Yukhei can’t stop being annoying, and instead was secretly pissing off everyone.

So he detaches himself from Taeyong-hyung fully.

"Oops, sorry hyung," he says airly, masking the hurt in his voice. "I'll go talk to someone else!" And Yukhei bounds over to the other side of the room.

He hates himself, just a little. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is very short and the next chapter will kinda lead directly from here but yes. I hope you can start to see Yukhei's thoughts about how he's still affected by what happened, whether he says it or not.
> 
> Also, Yuta might seem very rude, and I don't think he's like this irl but sometimes when a person becomes tired they also become irritable. So that's basically what Yuta is going through, and his fatigue and irritation he takes out on yukhei because he's conveniently there (which is wrong!!! and will be fixed!!! -if anyone does this to you multiple times talk to them about it or take measures to stop it).
> 
> Regardless, I'm not trying to demonize Yuta, he's lovely and sweet and funny and I love him :D


	3. The Hyungs Pt 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He’ll stop, Yukhei decided. He’ll stop from tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: *Emerges from a frozen lake before throwing this at you* Thank you for the comments and kudos they really mean a lot and make me happy :D :')  
> Me: *Retreats back into the lake and disappears*

Why does he have to be like this?

Yukhei hadn’t realized that he’d been so- that the hyungs were so _bothered_ by him.

He knows they don’t mind him, most of the time. That they care about him. That they aren’t right, sometimes, with the way they treat him even if they are irritated.

His friends had drilled it into Yukhei’s brain. That he’s worth it. That he can’t ever be too much. That they love him for his personality and happiness, and that he shouldn’t be scared to act like himself.

But, if everyone acts the same towards him, if most of his members get tired of him eventually, can’t put up with his personality, isn’t he the problem?

He understands. His personality doesn’t mesh with everyone. People like Renjun, Winwin-ge, Doyoung-hyung. It’s hard for them to handle him for long periods of time.

He’d thought he could handle it: the short instances of irritation they feel to him. And he can, most of the time. But he usually sees it coming. If Yukhei knows it’s coming, he can cope, can remove himself from the equation.

But just a few minutes ago, he hadn’t realized.

That’s what scares him the most. Because if Yukhei hadn’t realized until Yuta-hyung had pointed it out, then that means it could have happened before, or might happen again.

If Yukhei can’t tell when people are tired from him, then he’ll end up losing them too, until he’s alone like he was all those years ago.

So instead of going to bother anyone else, Yukhei watches the other people in the room. Mark and Haechan have moved off to the side, video chatting with the rest of the dreamies. Taeil, Jaehyun and Jungwoo hyung are off somewhere, probably resting after their show, Ten and Johnny-hyung are exploring Manila, and Sicheng-ge is at the corner of the room, playing a game on his phone.

He doesn’t really have anywhere to be, Yukhei thinks, doesn’t have anyone that can stand him for more than ten minutes. He could go bother Mark, but he’s already spent so much time with him this trip that Mark must be irritated with him now. And he’d be interrupting his time with the rest of the dreamies, which Yukhei doesn’t want.

Even though he’s the same age as Mark, nearly the same age as the rest of Dream, there’s still some distance between them. Yukhei understands. They have two years of chemistry and working together that he didn’t get, and they can all mostly speak Korean to fluency.

When they’re hanging out they try to invite Yukhei as well. But it doesn’t always work out because he can’t understand them all the time, and eventually they get tired of slowing down their Korean or explaining things to him.

Yukhei usually leaves at that point.

He doesn’t think they do it on purpose (they’re too kind for that). It’s just that his grasp of the language is lacking, which makes jokes and conversation hard. Yukhei can admit that his Korean has miles to go till it’s par with any of his members, even the foreigners. Languages just don’t come easy to him, especially Korean, which is so different from Cantonese, and Chinese, and even the unsteady grasp of English and Thai that he has.

Yukhei’s only been learning the language for 3 years, and even then, it’s hard to learn a foreign language when nobody speaks your own. Studying is frustrating and tedious, which just puts Yukehi off more, because even if his tutors know how to teach him well, they only speak standard mandarin, and sometimes he can’t even understand that because it’s too different from his Cantonese.

Yukhei misses his friends, the ones back in Hong Kong, terribly for a second. The ones that he could speak properly to, and get out all everything he wanted to say ~~.~~

But he snaps himself out of it because he can’t afford looking sad right. Yuta-hyung’s probably still pissed at him, and Taeyong-hyung relieved that he doesn’t have to deal with Yukhei anymore. The only problem is Doyoung-hyung. Doyoung hyung always worries after his dongsaengs, and Yukhei doesn’t want him to worry, so he has to act fine (which is easy- he’s gotten good at that).

So even though Yukhei really just wants to hug someone, because his clinginess is still there, he can’t bother anyone right now. Instead, Yukhei splays his body out on one of the couches in the room and looks at his phone while browsing random sites, trying to pretend that everything is fine and that loneliness isn’t creeping into his soul.

It doesn’t work that well.

* * *

It’s a little while later that Doyoung-hyung comes up to him.

Yukhei focuses more on his phone. Oh look, his friends sent him a video of his dog. He looks at it for a few seconds, then regrets it because it makes him so homesick to be away from his dog and family and friends ~~who he doesn’t annoy~~.

But Doyoung-hyung is right next to him, and he can’t concern him more than he already has, so Yukhei pastes a smile on his face and pretends to coo at his dog. It’s not totally fake, because his doggo is a good boy and is always cute, but Yukhei is watching his hyung out the corner of his eye.

Luckily hyung waits for him to finish cooing over his baby before interrupting him with a cautious “hello”.

Yukhei glances up, feigning nonchalance.

“Hyung?”

“Are you okay?” Doyoung asks softly, “You know Yuta-hyung didn’t-“

Yukhei cuts him off right there, because it’s not Yuta’s fault that Yukhei is irritating, and he doesn’t want his hyungs to fight because of him.

“I know! It’s fine,” he says hastily.

“I should’ve realized that Taeyong hyung was getting…” Yukhei frowns, he doesn’t know how to word “sick and tired of me being annoying but too kind to say ‘leave me alone’”, so he settles for something easier, “... annoyed at me”

Doyoung furrows his brow. Yukhei sees that and shrugs at him.

“Even I know I’m irritating. Taeyong-hyung shouldn’t have to constantly deal with-“

“Taeyongie-hyung,” Doyoung interrupts, “wasn’t bothered by you. And even if he was, you were only trying to cheer him up. Yuta-hyung had no right to say any of that to you”.

Yukhei bites his tongue. On one hand, he gets where hyung is coming from. Even if Yuta-hyung was fed up with him, he shouldn’t have taken his anger out on Yukhei. But if Yuta had only been voicing what everyone else was thinking… then shouldn’t Yukhei hear it? Shouldn’t he be told just how annoying he is when he bothers people?

“I was being annoying, and clinging too much just because I wanted it,” he says flatly, wanting the conversation to be over.

Just thinking about Yuta-hyung words make Yukhei’s chest tighten, because he’s still not over how he hadn’t realized Taeyong-hyung was tired of him until Yuta-hyung had pointed it out. He can’t keep being like this, because everyone will leave him in the end, and yet at the same time all Yukhei wants is to be himself without anyone hating him for it.

Haechan is hyper, all the dreamies are, and so are Yuta and Johnny-hyung sometimes. But the hyungs are fine with that because it only lasts for short periods of time. But Yukhei… he’s excited and loud most of time when he’s happy, and on the days he isn’t, he acts more hyper to somewhat force himself to become content.

It works, but the end result is that there are very few times (expect the horrible periods where he can’t understand everything and languages get muddled in his mind and he just wants to _stop_ ) where Yukhei is quiet, and isn’t a bother.

Which means things like what happened before occur a lot. And so Yukhei would rather just pretend nothing happened and deal with it by himself than be confronted by Doyoung, because it isn’t like this is new, so why does he care so much?

But apparently his tactic to end the conversation doesn’t work, because Doyoung-hyung comes closer, looking down at him with a strange expression on his face.

“You weren’t being annoying. You were happy. You’re allowed to be happy.”

At that, Yukhei’s had enough. Because he isn’t allowed to be happy. Because how he’s like when he’s happy annoys everyone, and he just wants people to be fine with him. Yukhei would just like his hyung to stop talking and make him feel even worse about himself.

“Even if I was happy, I shouldn’t have bothered hyung, he already puts up with enough from me. All of you do. Yuta-hyung was right to be angry,” he says.

“Yukhei,” Doyoung starts.

Oh no, Yukhei internally panics. Hyung’s used his real name, which he only ever does when it’s getting serious. And Yukhei would really prefer to not have this conversation now (or ever).

Luckily, he spots Johnny-hyung and Ten-hyung coming back into the room. The scheduled vlive should be starting soon.

Yukhei controls his panic and anxiety and slight sadness, before he puts on a smile and exclaims, “Oh look, we’re about to broadcast!”

He then stands up from the chair he’s been lying on, stretches out his muscles, before turning to Doyoung.

“Don’t worry hyung, I’ll keep Yuta-hyung’s words in mind,” he says carefully. And he will, because Yuta’s words have made him realize a few things.

“I’ve been way too annoying lately,” Yukhei adds under his breath.

Then Yukhei leaves a hesitating Doyoung to meet the rest of his members, who’re slowly congregating near one of the room’s couches.

The vlive begins, and Yukhei sits as far away as possible from Yuta and Doyoung and Taeyoung, instead placing himself next to Ten and Johnny. They’d just come in, dragging the remaining members sleepily behind him.

If Yukhei's a bit more quiet than usually during the vlive, no one notices. What just happened is unfortunately all Yukhei can think about. He really does bother his hyungs too much, doesn’t he?

He’ll stop, Yukhei decided. He’ll stop from tomorrow.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I not sure how this really came out??? It went in one direction before madly swinging in the other and idk if this has any flow or not ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> Also, I've increased the chapter count again but this is probably going to be the final chapter count because there's one more chapter of Yukhei being a dumb baby and his members also being idiots before the cuddles (which is what I'm looking forward to).
> 
> The weird tangents Yukhei's brain goes off on is mainly me getting carried away, but the thing about him learning korean really interests me because how exactly does SM teach it's foreign artists korean? and wouldn't Yukhei have trouble learning since his native tongue is canto, and if his teachers spoke mandarin then it would be even harder for him to understand specific things?
> 
> Regardless I hope you liked this chapter :D No promises on when the next one will be, since there's a week holiday and I'll be off somewhere, but I will try to finish this :)
> 
> Again, thank you for all the comments they really mean a lot, and when I lack inspiration I go back and read them even though I'm horrible at replying, and I hope all of you know you make my day and encourage me and I love to hear your thoughts :)
> 
> Oh yes and Yuta will definitely apologize and there will be Many cuddles and Soft boys.


End file.
